Hold your own, know your name, and go your own way.

Hello again, dear readers!

This is a post I’ve been avoiding since Germany. It’s painful, complex, and will result in (I’m certain) many questions – as it does with any major life event.

On my second Germany post, I promised a reason as to why poor Berlin had to wait so long for its chance in the spotlight. While it’s been far longer than I originally anticipated, today I will make good on that promise.

Let’s flash back 8 years ago. I was 2 months away from my 22 birthday, ended a very intense relationship, just quit school, was working a part time job that barely paid the $35 a week rent, and I was desperate to leave St. Louis. I made the decision to move to Kansas City and give myself a fresh start.

That move was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. I loved that city. I made some amazing friends, had a blast living with my brother, landed an epic job – which I would still say was my favorite job out of the (what feels like millions) I’ve had. Life was really just on the up-and-up.

It was in the great city of KC during this positive time in my life when I met Andrew.

I don’t want to say we hit it off right away. We took our time to get to know each other – it was weeks before we met in person, and months before we spent significant time at each other’s respective residences. We bonded over the few certainties we had in our lives at the time – a respect for beer, love of Harry Potter, and the fact that neither of us really knew what we wanted out of life. Honestly, I don’t think either of us were looking for a significant other at the time. But as love often goes, things just kind of happened.

We went through two cross country moves, multiple job changes, moving back in with parents, ect. ect. ect. Surely, after all of that, we were meant to live happily ever after until the end of time, right?

Flash forward 3 years later, we throw a bomb ass wedding, move to Milwaukee, and start married adult life together.

We had some absolutely brilliant times together – some truly amazing experiences. We were able to travel, live in some exciting places, drink lots and lots of delightful beer, go to festivals and fairs galore. We supported each other’s “self-bettering” and planning future goals and aspirations. But as we began to hone in on what we wanted out life, the farther apart we grew. Soon it was clear that in order to have the lives we wanted, one of two things had to happen: either one of us would have to change what they needed, or we move on separately.

So, we decided end things amicably and with no hatred or hard feelings. It was an incredibly difficult decision that was not made lightly or without serious thought and consideration. After nearly 8 years of being together, we knew there was more on the line than just our companionship. This would affect family, friends, break traditions we created together, and take away the comfort of being with someone that only comes with knowing them for an extended period of time. We both did as much as we could to make the other happy; to try to work through issues and compromise to the best of our capabilities. Over time, we realized no healthy amount of compromise would rectify the situation.

Now we are starting a new chapter in life, to sound oh so cliché. I can’t speak for Andrew, but I don’t regret anything that’s happened. I learned so much about myself, what I really need from a partner, the importance of proper communication, and most importantly, when to listen to your gut and let go.

We have both moved on with other amazing people (mine I’m sure I will touch on at another more appropriate point in the future) and made solid decisions to have the future we each want. While the situation in a nutshell isn’t the happiest, I am excited to see what new and enthralling things await me in the future.


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